50 Short Corny Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

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1. What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don’t look! I’m about to change.

3. Why are math books so expensive?

Because they have so many answers in them.

4. When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy.

A few minutes later he turned around and passed me!

-Mitch Hedberg you at the corner

5. Why are pirates called pirates?  Because they arrrrrrre!

6. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrrrr

7. Knock knock Who’s There? Interrupting pirate it’s ridiculous for you to think that you could beat me at this game

8. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

9. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

10. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it

11. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef

12. Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box what did she do wrong she didn’t share anything

13. Why did Mickey Mouse go to jail? Because he was on parole

14. Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? There are some great new streeeeetch marks!

15. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner

16. Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers

17. Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to everyone that it could be done!

18. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta

19. Knock knock Who’s there? Interrupting pirate I’m-a gonna ask you one more time, please stop eating my “cinnamon”

20. Why did Santa go to jail? He was framed

21. What is Winnie The Pooh’s favorite drink? Hunny

22. If a pencil wrote its own autobiography, what would it say

I love writing stories because I always make a point and never make a mistake 23. Knock knock who’s there 30 minutes past the hour it’s me I’m here to remind you that school starts in 30 minutes, so be ready!

24. What is a ghosts favorite smell? A pooeemon

25. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

26. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems

27. What kind of keys can’t unlock a door the musical kind

28. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon It has awful food but you can see it all

29. Knock knock Who’s there Window pane Can I have some money for lunch

30. If teachers taught forever would we learn everything? 31. What did one math book say to the other math book? “I don’t know how you do it, but I can’t solve these problems without you.”

32. How do you catch a cheetah? You tie him to a post!

33. What’s the best way to describe it when a woman says “She’s not into you?” She told you she wasn’t the type to watch pre-school shows.

34. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

35. Why did the duck cross the road? To get to the water!

36. Why did the banana cross the road? He was sick of being mashed!

37. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!

38. Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they’re always snoring!

39. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

40. How do you make your left eye bigger than your right one? You hold your eyelid open with a pencil and blow into your nose…it hurts, but it works!

41. What’s black and blue and red all over? A sunburnt penguin!

42. When does someone know that they are about to sneeze? About 10 microseconds before they actually sneeze 43. Knock knock Who’s there Paper Plane I just flew in from Chicago, and boy are my arms tired!

44. Why do people play tennis? To serve!!

45. What did one math book say to the other math book? “I don’t know how you solve these problems but I can’t solve them without you.”

46. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh on your right foot 47. If a radio fell in the woods would anyone hear it? No because radio waves travel through antennas not woods

48. What is a pirates favorite mode of transportation The shipp

49. Knock knock Who’s there Doge I love dogs because they bark and bark and bark and never shut up

50: What did one say to the other eye? I don’t know how you do it, but I can’t open without you!

51. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

52. Why did the duck cross the road? To get to the water!

53. Why did the banana cross the road? He was sick of being mashed!

54. What’s black and blue and red all over? A sunburnt penguin!

55. How do you make your left eye bigger than your right one? You hold your eyelid open with a pencil and blow into your nose…it hurts, but it works!

56. What’s white and sticky and falls from the sky? Snowfl

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